“I had never, ever, in my deepest of life’s depression, considered suicide. My very first chemo dose in 2017, the steroids hit me so bad, I was refusing to go back. I was able to look my (at the time) four year old right in the eye and think she was better off without me. I’d never been in that spot before, or even remotely considered it, and it was educational. I went back and immediately talked about how it felt and we cut the steroids. Everything after that. . . . was kind of bearable. I learned to accept how I cope with things, that showing off and feeling awful are ok, and so long as I get up the next day, I might as well do it again. What else am I doing, anyway?”
"I don’t like the term 'fighter' or 'war' or 'she lost her battle'. I have cancer. It is part of me. To say it’s a war implies I am at war with myself. And I am not.Cancer is like a passenger in a car. Sometimes it sits quietly in the back, sometimes it back seat drives, sometimes it the passenger, and sometimes it’s the driver. No matter what, I feel like I’m driving on flat tires, but at least I’m moving forward.
Cancer might kill me some day- But NOT TODAY!”
“When I was first diagnosed with Stage 3c Ovarian Cancer, I had an incredibly tough time throughout treatment, however I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I ended up becoming NED (No Evidence of Disease), even though there was a high chance of recurrence, I could rationalize that maybe, just maybe, I’d had bad luck in getting this disease, but it was just a one off and I’d miraculously “beat it”. However once it recurred, it became clear that it would just keep coming back. I had to adjust my mindset to cope with the fact that I would always be living WITH cancer.”
"When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, it came out that I had an aunt (my dad's sister) who died of ovarian cancer, but they kept calling it "stomach cancer". If you have anyone in your family who talks about "stomach cancer", you may want to ask more questions, because it could really be a gynecological cancer that they are covering up.
Also, my uncle died of lung cancer, which really ended up being lymphoma that went into his lymph nodes. When it comes to family history, depending on your family's culture, there can be "taboo" issues. It’s so important to get past those taboo topics to get the information that you need for your health."
“At the end of the day, you know your body more than anyone, if something doesn’t feel quite right, question it, demand more tests. I didn’t. I took everything they said and accepted it ("You’re ok, its just pains form your period, its the cysts they come and go, its cant be more than that you’re too young, its your diet- change your diet, here some painkillers you should be fine within a couple of days") If something doesn’t feel right, over and over, don't just numb with with painkillers or other meds, get checked out, get a second opinion.”
"I try to create awareness for my stage 4 diagnosis that it’s chronic. I am not going anywhere the coming years, that’s what I hope and feel... And for me to stay here even longer, I need people to donate for more research to find a cure. I wish people understood that currently there is no cure. I believe in miracles, and I always say out loud for the universe to hear it; There will be a cure for me. I will celebrate my 50th birthday!"